according to your own words you two were not a couple and you had no verbal agreement to be one...therefore he owes you no explanation whatsoever. sorry
here - let me help bruch the sand off ...
love too see a front shot
This relationship is now 4 years old, where is it actually going?
Me: Pretty good. A little tired. How long do you have to work tonight?
At best, he has a very immature and selfish way of handling stress. It's one thing to need space, let the person know you need a day or two to decompress from a particular stressful event that happened, then go quiet. It's entirely different to disappear without warning on your partner, be cold and distant when she reaches out with concern, and then when you're finally ready and feel like it, smother her with attention and stalk her. That's dysfunctional and will eventually get worse if you accept it.
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