Well over a year ago I decided to end a serious but toxic 4 year relationship with my ex girlfriend and moved to another city (Boston) for a new job (not the cause of the breakup). Feeling unhealthy and depressed in a new city, I knew I needed some time to get myself together. So since then I've doing things again that I used to enjoy, travelled, received a promotion at a job I love, continuing to discover new interests, and even got into the best shaped of my life (close to getting a 6-ish pack). I now feel emotionally ready and lonely enough to begin dating and find someone to have a relationship with.
Shamen, I feel for you....this is truly maddening....I too have been dealing with someone who has consistently flaked on me....being divorced, I have abandonment issues...meaning that when someone that I am used to talking to 2/3 times/day suddenly "disappears" for a couple of days, I freak.....react, get mad and have also left the occasional mean message out of frustration....I keep telling the guy, just don't disappear on me and call me back within a decent period of time (i.e. not four hours if we have plans to get together and I am waiting to hear back from you to finalize...)......He now has said that he wants to play our relationship "by ear" as he thinks I get way too mad about silly stuff......Funny thing is...I am an extremely easy going person, but the fact that this guy has continued to do this to me after months and after us becoming intimate and what I felt was more like a "couple" really hurts....I definitely think he is ADHD....we talked a little about him as a kid and he said he definitely was....so, where's the line....do we excuse this because they have ADHD...I mean, if you care about someone, can't you "learn" to become more reliable if that person truly means anything to you? I have told him that I know that I need to work on my abandonment fears and that I am truly trying, but that I need for him to help me (i.e. us to work as a team) by not blowing me off......I now feel as if I am being punished by him saying that he wants to play the relationship by ear......When he and I hang out, it has always been great and this is the only issue that has been a problem....seems silly to let the possibility of someone good get away because of something so silly as this......
The art of hair-flip :)
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